who knew? ah the revolutions that healing takes. starting with one of the psalms that trevor discovered for the summer to mary ann's comment that maybe this was to be the "summer of healing." seems i am impatient to be done already. like someone sick of still having their head in the hair drying machine thingie or being a gingerbread creature not fully baked. but i'm finding that healing does indeed take time and besides that, it is an on-going thing. there are monumental levels of healing, but there are also constant daily smoothings over of cracks that takes its own time. plus, hurts are incurred often and some people are more fragile to being bumped up than others. it's been a rough week, and i'm sitting in a reprieve from some intense molding time. there have been a lot of secret tears and prayers and surprise shaping moments. i was unveiled as still having a long way to go, with self-deprecation, low self-worth, and a whole bucketload of untossed issues that i hated to see. still, huge gains have been made, and i am still accepted after all. (though everything in me knows i don't deserve it, and that's the gift.) He hasn't given up on me still. so, Perfect Lord, chip away at my rough edges, help me to accept what You've made me to be, that i may be free to live out my destiny, the one You most want me to live. posted by Sam 1:45 AM . . .
